Years ago, I received a letter from a friend who is a pastor at a church in California. It is within your power through the Holy Spirit to forgive those who hurt you. Isaiah 41:10. Thanks for some insight!! Posted Jul 02, 2012 Disarm the person trying to steal from you by having a heart posture of fearlessness. What does Jesus even mean by that? With His help, you can forgive the unforgivable. It is God Who works in us (Philippians 2:13), and if we follow Him He will complete the necessary work to enable us to honor our abusive parent (Philippians 1:6). Dear God, Your righteous anger toward evil overshadows the pain in my heart and allows me to forgive as You are righteously angry for me. Use the Right Weapons: While it is perfectly normal to get mad at those who hurt you, Jesus calls us all to a better way. So trust God by doing the right thing and you will not be in trouble. God enters in, stays with us, and make a way in our hurt. “Love your enemies and be patient with those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in Heaven; for he makes the sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous….Be perfect (spiritually mature) as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:43-48. Ones that I think we could all benefit from hearing and practicing. He always lectures me about how God wouldn't want me to be mistreated and stuff. Forgiveness is that important to God that He is willing to hold back His hand if we choose to not forgive those who have wronged us. It hardly makes sense in our ego minds. But rather than having an attitude of retaliation, have a gratitude for how Jesus will take care of you. When someone tries to take from us, it can happen in many forms. You have a PROMISE from God Almighty that He will PUNISH (repay) the evildoer. He is teaching us a better, higher, more intelligent way to deal with conflict. God wants us to protect ourselves from harmful Toxic People. Many times we are not in a place to force the other person to stop their hurtful behavior. Generosity: “Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” Luke 6:30. The wounds of Christ then become Christ's credentials. So how does God want me to respond to those who hurt me? In order to forgive those who sin against us, we must first of all understand God’s forgiveness. I’m not saying you have to be besties, but forgiveness is key. And you can be thankful that you get to be the one to intercede on their behalf. God forgave our transgressions. God’s Kingdom is not in trouble, that means you are not in trouble. Christ's Coming 5 All this is clear evidence of God’s righteous judgment. Doesn’t blessing someone who hurts us condone their behavior? They are projecting their own dominant thoughts, insecurities, woundings and beliefs on to you because you represent something they are not. Tell him that you are sorry about his loss. People who are hurting you legitimately are blinded by their own self and feel justified in their actions. Here is why this teaching is empowering: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. Therefore, they see you as a threat. We are doing what Jesus did. This is a great article! “When we refuse to freely give, we demonstrate our allegiance to the world’s narratives of scarcity and fear.” The Good and Beautiful Life, When Jesus calls us to pray for and bless even our enemies, he isn’t at all saying that we should be unwise and allow ourselves to be abused or mistreated. “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:28  This is a hard teaching to swallow. Love is higher than all problems. He works all things together for the good of those He has called (Romans 8:28). I use the word surrender because it best describes our act of handing over to God something that truly belongs to Him—the right to hurt back. He believes that if people hurt you once, you cab write them out of your life and be rude to him. Turn immediately to the serious issue at hand - … Pray for those who hurt you.” –Luke 6:28 “We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do.” –2 Corinthians 10:3 . God designed this world in a cause and effect way where all physical earthly sins have strictly physical earthly consequences and Sins against God separate us from Him (unless redeemed). In the process of working through my heart issues, I prayed hard and asked God to give me the opportunity to ask for forgiveness to those who I’ve hurt. In Devotions, Inspiration by Kristen Dalton WolfeOctober 28, 20144 Comments. But when we see it as the thing between God and us, it has meaning. "Vengeance is Mine, says the Lord". “Bless those who curse you. They are also conclusions based in fear. No matter how hard or strong we claim to be,  the actions of others can sometimes hurt us to our core. Take your eyes off of the hurt and the person, put your gaze on Christ. Ultimately, Jesus is trying to teach us how to have a Kingdom posture of the heart. For some this is not just an academic question. I guess my question and what I have been struggling with is how to interact with the person after the offense. Luke 6:27-3 6 speaks to this issue with great detail. Some may say the answer is simple: You don’t deal with them at all! The first thing each Christian must “realize and see” is what I call the big picture. Subscribe to receive a daily email of new posts right in your inbox. “God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved.” Psalm 46:5. And so you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. Jesus lived a life that practiced a perfect example of Godly boundaries. On the other hand, pretending she doesn’t exist and dreading seeing her at gatherings also doesn’t seem right. <3 We must forgive as we have been forgiven. But, forgiveness does not mean resolution. And what does he expect of us, since we pray, “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us?” Does God really expect us to forgive and to forget the sins of others? And he is coaxing me not to be. Conflict can cause anger, hurt, confusion, fear, and damaged relationships with those on our women’s leadership team and other women in the women’s ministry. This is why the Bible commands us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger” (Ephesians 4:31). I mean, yeah, they hurt me, but I don't know what good would come of them getting what they "deserve". So how do you deal with those who have offended, mistreated, or hurt you? One of the best things we can do for those who hurt us is pray for them. Those people definitely need prayer. When you have a heart posture of trust, that means you trust that God will protect you. Love it! God works all things for the good of those who love him. He is our refuge (Psalm 91:1-2). No one can take from you what you freely give. Don’t we need to stand up for ourselves? God does not want us to be a Target for others to use and abuse. I am not only supposed to pray for them, but bless them as well? You don’t get solutions at the same level of the problem. I find myself wondering if I'd really want them to be avenged. 3 Ways to Bless Those Who Have Hurt Us 1. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I’ve forgiven her, and want the best for her, but I equally want nothing to do with her :S. Kristen is a former Miss USA, the founder of She is More, author, TV host & inspirational speaker and personal success coach. When I am hurt by someone I don’t allow myself to … When people hurt you, sometimes it’s easier to just walk away and don’t look back. When you trust that He is true to His promises to you as a Daughter of the King, you are elevated to such an anchored state of your royal identity, that no attempts to attack you will cause you to waver. There’s no task to difficult nor mountain too high for those who are compelled to live their lives in the purpose and plan of God. How can you forgive someone who has hurt you? Again, make sure that you show genuine sensitivity, then do what a surgeon would do with a severed jugular vein. You can’t control what they do, but you can control how you respond to them. Tough one. I’ve been trying to balance ‘being there’ for an ex with whom I was in a very dysfunctional and emotionally abusive relationship with 4 years ago. The ego part of our mind wants to protect us, to defend us, to hold on what is ours. God is the God of the past, present and future and no one can steal anything when you are hidden in the shadow of His wings. God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. If someone is asking or demanding something from you or even plotting our demise, a heart posture of love would ask them, “how may I help you?” Even ask it in your own mind at first, then you will begin to see that person through a clear lens of compassion, which could even reveal to you the reasons that anger, hate and bitterness fills their heart. Psalm 115:3 says, “Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.” The person who does not tremble at this has simply not faced up to the power of God, greater than a billion hydrogen bombs, or the holiness of God, a purity burning like a million galaxies, or the mystery of God acting in ways that none but he can fathom. To let people bully us? God loves us and does not want others to harm us. Wedged in the crux—the cross—suffering becomes a transaction. This means that you have a God-given RIGHT to EXPECT to be avenged of your enemies (those who have hurt you). Really great helpful & Biblical principals here. Jesus isn’t literally making a new law that says you have to accept abuse, especially when it is an ongoing, chronic situation. God is love and love is bigger than all of our circumstances or enemies. God’s Word tells us “where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there” (James 3:16). Yes, but indirectly. A. Carson in “How Long, O Lord?” “By itself suffering does no good. When someone tries to take from us, it can happen in many forms. So if they want your contacts, give them your contacts generously, knowing they can’t steal anything that God will not redeem. I have forgiven her as best I can, but to interact with her feels like I’m saying what she did was ok or even possibly true. It thinks, “I can’t pray for enemy’s success because then there won’t be enough left for me” or “I can’t bless the person who is out to hurt me, she will think that I am a pushover and continue to think she can walk all over me.”  Both of which are understandable conclusions. We tell Him our pain and allow Him to handle those who would hurt us. Those who do are in deep pain themselves. I had a close friend try to ruin my name, spread rumors about me and attack my relationship. Continuing to come back to this truth helps us see each person's humanity instead of demonizing the one who has hurt us. Any of those easily becomes a spiritual and emotional poison, eating away at our souls and turning us into unloving (and unlovable) people. To me, that gives so much understanding to Jesus perspective when he was dying on the cross and still said, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they are doing.” Luke 23:34. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. We call the betrayal for what it is, reconsider our personal boundaries, and recognize that only God is truly trustworthy. When we pray for and bless our enemies, we are vibrating at God’s frequency because we are in alignment with His nature. 4. My situation is one that happened at work with a boss and I’m asking God to help me overcome it, because I want all that God has for me!! We are to follow his example and forgive others that have transgressed against us. The Bible often reminds us that we have a Father in heaven to Whom we can turn when we get hurt—or in fact at any time. The things your enemies do to you usually have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. God does not have to remove your hurt to show you strong he is. That is not the case here. At the same time, if approached in a God-honoring way, conflict can bring stimulation, healing, resolution to … No matter how hard or strong we claim to be, the actions of others can sometimes hurt us to our core.Some people may try to tough it out and will pretend the words or actions of others don’t effect them, but the truth of the matter is… sometimes they do! Thanks for sharing today! In it, the pastor included a copy of an article that had appeared in the Los Angeles Times . An important part of overcoming grief is expressing it to God. Some people may try to tough it out and will pretend the words or actions of others don’t effect them, but the truth of the matter is… sometimes they do! A fear of scarcity and not enough. “Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” Luke 6:30. 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